My room on the Manas AB in Kyrgyzstan

MY USO TOUR

FOR THE TROOPS IN AFGHANISTAN

Artie Lange and I in our dorm hallway after flying 24 hours

They let a creep like me in the cockpit of a military plane

Nick Diapolo, Dave Attell, and Gary Dellabate hanging on the wing

Our brave military give us a standing O after our first comedy show

Meet and greet with the soilders after the show

Hanging with the troops Before taking off to our next show

Hanging with the troops Before taking off to our next show

In the cockpit during the flight. Nice

Bunker in Kandahar in case the Taliban doesn't like our dick jokes and bombs us.

Control room where they hit a button and the bad guys die

Predator Drone plane. Cost $10 million a plane. No pilot. Takes pics and drops bombs on dirtbags that want to kill us

The camera on the front of the Drone

I signed this bomb and the next day the dropped it on a Taliban hideaway and killed 9 of those jerkoffs. Nice

There is no septic system at the Kandahar Base so this is called the shit pond. The base smelled like you used a piece of shit as a mustache

Our rooms at the base in Kandahar. Nicer then most of the hotels I stay in.

This is the crowd 15 minutes before showtime. I guess we don't have a following an hour away from the border of Pakistan

Dave Attell and I backstage before the show thinking about the dick jokes we are about to delive

10 minutes after our show our base got hit by mortar fire. We had to run to a bunker and wait an hour

Signing the wall in a bunker

Meet and greet after the mortar fire. Fuck the Taliban

Artie Lange and I ready to go up in a Blackhawk chopper

The crew taking us to our shows thru the desert in Afghanistan

We look cool but we were shitting our pants ready to take off

Beautiful Southern Afghanistan

The base in Colut where we are doing a show for 40 soliders at 10am

It's fucking hot

Performing at the Improv in Colut, Afghanistan

Just in case someone didn't like my show.

Up in a Blackhawk. Cooler then having a threesome

Looks like there is alot of things to do here

Another Blackhawk flying with us just in case

Gary and I getting a ride in a Humvee

Beautiful airport. This place was the Taliban's last stand before we forced them back in their caves where they belong

Killing time during a 7 hour layover

C17 military plane flying from kandahar to Bagram AB. it was 115 degrees on this plane

HERO

Bagram AB. The NFL bulit a clubhouse in Pat's honor with flat screen TV's, coffee shop, and free wireless internet. And air conditioner!

19th hour of waiting and flying. Miserable

Airport bathroom in Kyrgyzstan.This is how they shit over there. God Bless America!

Getting drunk in the Kyrgyzstan airport at 5am after we missed our flight and have to stay another day

Artie after realizing we have to stay another day

Special Ed & Eminem
Jim performing Special Ed at the MTV Video Awards with Eminem